note on translation
i wrote huequitos/holies* before june 12, but after my friend IVÁN TRINIDAD COTTO was killed, his death never investigated. IVÁN and i would meet en el towncenter de mayagüez, where i’d invite him, MANUEL, HUMBERTO, GADDO, ANGELÍA, and whoever else was present, to have some coffee and we would talk about being gay as fuck, using protection, lana del rey, and going to nova ley. every time i talk to my friends, i feel this shared loss between us, sometimes spoken, sometimes unspoken, but always there. i’ve looked for ways to articulate it: i’ve written poems, i’ve talked it out, i’ve gotten pissed, but nothing seems sufficient and everything seems too much. these poems are a testament to this kind of irrecoverable loss because amidst all this mourning, we are also fucking and loving our holies.
what is the difference between cuir and queer? the difference is the difference between knowing and not knowing IVÁN. the difference is in how we touch, where we touch, and how much is seen. the difference lies in the internalized imperative to code my language, how closeted i feel or how unfreed by the imperialism of u.s. freedom. the difference is the water between san juan y orlando. the difference is crossing over because of a debt imposed by predatory investors, only to be met with the hatred of a country that never sees us except as an electoral statistic or a token latinx. the difference makes little holies in every poem. the difference lies in wanting to hold each other’s differences like the held space of rodin’s cathedral. huequitos i curl up inside. holies i want to suck and shiver.
i have translated these poems. i have not translated these poems. when you see me, you never see me. if i’m angry, i’m not asking for your understanding. i want you to experience discomfort, the acuteness of not having the solidity from which to say “i vote. i am a citizen. i am america.”
june 10: the u.s. geological survey announces that because of the debt crisis they will shut down 177 of the island’s hydrologic stations by july 1.
just boil the water
just boil the water clean
just gather the rainwater in buckets
june 12: 23 cuir boricuas are killed. killed with other queers, killed because they are boricuas and because they are cuir. the networks of hatred run so deep that the killers can’t see themselves killing us, and yet we are dying. i talk to r.a. on the phone and she says nos están exterminando/they are exterminating us.
will you care about us while we are alive?
july 1: the day these huequitos become public domain.
i want these holies to pierce a once continuous aluminum sheet. our huequitos can speak to each other the way echoes speak to a memory of voice. the way loss(i) speaks to loss(a). i don’t expect us to reach the same place at the same pace. even if i need you here right now, i will see you as you are, i will count your spoons, and wait. know that anger is my initial way of stumbling through the emptiness. reach for me. this is where i’m at. i’ll help you even when i can’t give words your way, but reach for me now. know my difference. see my nothingness not just yours, but ours, but mine. be cuir with me even when you are queer with me. learn to love what you cannot consume. decolonize to heal. write laterally. write down like offering a chair and sitting on the floor. turn with me in anger away from the investors, the cops, the imf, the candidates who don’t care about my people, the hrcs, the ultimate haters whose hatred is branded as love, and learn to tell the difference between our love and theirs. be queer with me. be cuir.
*the people in this study are activists, luchadorxs, poets, filmmakers, artists, and friends. the people in this study are people i love beyond repair. hold space for them as i hold space for you.**
**on june 29, the u.s. senate passed the PROMESA/PROMISE bill, which establishes that our eyes will be eaten by ravens while we sleep, our minimum wage will go down to $4.25 an hour, and we will be asked to remove our life jackets before exiting the plane. my always wise mother texted me the following message: the colony has come out of the closet.
huequitos/holies
raquel salas-rivera
espantapájaros azul blue scarecrow
ahogado en el bilis de la nochemasclara drowned in the bile of the clearestnight
siempre se desdibuja a los lados de los hombres always blurs at the sides of men
trae nuestros tragos la que tarda en mejorar su postura she who takes a while to better her posture brings our shots
su abuela le dijo que si camina en alto el camino es más corto her abuela told her that if she walks tall the path is shorter
por mi parte sobrecorrijo la entrada de sus labios for my part i overcorrect the entrance of her lips
desdiluvio las múltiples entradas i dedeluge the multiple entrances
su cara supercarretera entre galaxias her face superhighway between galaxies
entra por mi puerta diciendo como andas hoy enters through my door saying how are you today
pájaro azul blue bird
por lanochemasnuestra through the mostpossessednight
lanochemaestra the mistressmasternight
dile adiós querida al ala say goodbye querida to the wing
dile que es práctico el parecido say that it’s a practical resemblance
penetro
mi brazo es el órgano potente de mi feminidad
puedo llegar hasta mi hígado con mi brazo
cuando señalo [estando dentro de mí] puedo sangrarme
puedo crear un [crac] hueco en mi salud
por donde saldrán los líquidos fermentadores preñaran
el río con sus
ajustes hedoríficas suficiencias
agarrajuste dolimadura.
desgarraré tu sol de su segundo centro sombra(tierra) y cuando tanto polvoluz
se hará del mundo nos llevaré a tumba predilecta y
nos haré el amor tras meternos el dedo largo como un señalamiento común
(i) penetrate
my arm is the potent organ of my femininity
i can reach my liver with my arm
when i signal [being inside me] i can bleed me
i can create a whole [crack] in my health through
which the fermenting liquids will leave impregnating
the river with their
reeking suficiencies
griefripeish gripadjustment.
i’ll rend your sun from it’s second shadow(earth) and when so much dustlight
is made of the world i’ll take us to the favorite tomb and
make us love after sticking the long finger in our body like a common accusation
penetras (you) penetrate
se te para naturalmente la bemba con your bemba naturally sticks out with
ella mi magma me remetes tu lagarto es sudor estalactita her my magma tucks me in your lizard is stalactite sweat
cueva-parte en cueva encorvada cave-part in cave incurved
pico de cuervo tu toser como diciendo nunca más beak of crow your coughing like saying never again
pero al fin como no escupe sobre mi llórame but in the end why not spit over me cry me
quiero con tu melancolía estupenda i want with your stupendous melancholy
ser la favorita to be the favorite
quitapón
eres quitapón a veces te me masturbas como tapándote con la mano para
no regarte las plumillas y me vengo
a veces te vas volá por la vereda del baño y se te corren las cortinas
por los dedos porque te caes y no quieres
encima de mi s quitamientos
si pones una canción igual te quitas por
llamadas recibidas y yo sin recibir
decisiones te canto y tú. je. te pones pendeja
la cara de
poner huevos
o quitar cautelas
quítemela ahora y no te me pongas quitá
a cambio no me quito y te pondré
a girar como quitaponquitaponquitapon
offputtingon
you are offputtingon sometimes you masturbate like covering yourself
with the hand so as not to spray all your feathers and i come
sometimes you leave flown down the path of the bathroom and the curtains run
through your fingers because you fall and don’t want
on top of m(e/ y) offtakings
if you play a song you’ll also quit over
received calls and i’m without receiving
decisiones i sing and you. he. act basic
your face of
egglaying
or caution quitting
take it off me now and don’t offput
in exchange i won’t take off and i’ll make you
spin like offputtingonputtingoffputtingon
trampa de dedos finger trap
pero sin trampa but without trap
en el medio in the middle
del camino of the path
no pasan las gentes people can’t pass
ni nos movemos in the middle
en el medio of the middle
del medio another middle another another
hay otro medio otro otro there is trap
hay trampa without trap
sin trampa a mode of entering barely
modo de entrar apenas trililí pointillist
trililí puntillista of sinister dexterity/
de diestra siniestra all left and right
ay ay/is
entonces then
hay is/ay
en in
la the exit
salida
ñ
una caracola que te aprieta (vente adentro que hace frío)
partenogénesis guanabanada
en la sucísima entrada del hotel hay una alfombra vieja
que nadie poda
con mi mano la retoco y me saluda
¡vecina! somos parte de este organismo
de frisas sucias y videos porno
¿lloras cuando vuelas?
¿abres las ventanas en la lluvia o aprietas tus manos?
me vengo en un vaso
me lo bebo y alucino
se llama ser bruja
ah pero de eso no se hereda
claro que sí ven que te enseño eso me lo pasó la otra
(un secreto, una malicia, la aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa(y) escarlata
de adulterio)
vente afuera que hace fresco
ñ
a conch that squeezes you (come inside it(’s) cold)
guanabanaed parthenogenesis
in the dirtiest entrance of the hotel there is an old rug
that no one mows
with my hand i retouch it and it says hi
neighbor! we are part of this organism
of dirty sheets and porno videos
do you cry when you’re flying?
do you open the windows in the rain or shake your hands?
i come in a cup
i drink it and hallucinate
it’s called being bruja
ah but you can’t inherit that
of course i can come i’ll show you the other one passed that on
(a secret, a malice, the scarlet aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa(y)
of adultery)
come outside it(’s) fresh
los orgasmos se fabrican
igual que se alinean los lápices igual que uno da un toque
tap tap a los papeles
para que cuadren
uno ajusta una corbata
igual la realidad equivalente a sí
fabrica orgasmos
fui a una barra y una mujer me escalonó
no estaba pendiente pero sucede
que hay varias pieles y unas se le salen
hasta la superficie
cuando los extraños la suscitan a posesión
cuando succionan
el pliegue dentro del pliegue ni fuego ni humedad
hace un orgasmo como si el gigante del eclipse bostezara su sombra perentoria
orgasms are manufactured
just as the pencils get lined up just as one taps
tap tap the papers
to square them
one adjusts the tie
so reality equivalent to itself
manufactures orgasms
i went to a bar and a woman staggered me
i wasn’t aware but it happens
that there are various skins and some come up
to the surface
when strangers arouse her to possession
when they suction
the fold within the fold neither fire nor humidity
makes an orgasm as if the giant of the eclipse yawned his peremptory shadow
buchipluma
si te pones ancha es porque te elevas al suelo
tus plumas ahora gruesas como si las sudaras por el pecho
gritando como bronca tu machiplumeo
mastico velas y abanicos
las que me tiras desde el apretón (me siento pequeña entre tus
chalecos y corbatas me dan tus ganas ganas de nada
siempre nada pero nadísima contigo
en ti, buchipluma, vuelo tan bajo que me entierro)
mientras más te endureces más plumitas te salen
más te pareces a polaca
espeluznante espeluzá
cricalístico
caudal de la nada nuestro
tan buena tan bucha
tan dura
buchipluma
if you widen it’s because you elevate to the ground
your feathers now thick as if you sweated them through your chest
screaming like ruction your machiplumeo
i chew candles and fans
the ones you throw at me since the supersqueeze (i feel small amidst your
vests and ties your wantings give me want for nothing
always nothing i mean extranothing with you
in you, buchipluma, i fly so low i bury myself)
the more you harden the more feathers sprout
the more you seem like the polish hen
lurid unkempt
cricalistic
flow of our nothings
so good so butch
so hard
amarillitos
dicen que si no duermes deliras si no mueves herrumbras
pero de hojalata solamente hay sin quereres
esta es la ley de amarillitos
velocidad no es ni esto ni lo otro
crudo, médium raro, rarísmo
o vivo
james
consumiéndolo orgiado
los que creen en el futuro
siguen creyendo
no james ni dean
este no creía en na
qué tiempo hay pa eso
si entre venidas sólo hay guille
de amarillitos
amarillitos
they say if you don’t sleep you become delirious if you don’t move you rust
but of tin there are only my bads
that is the law of amarillitos
speed is neither this nor that
rare, medium rare, extra-rare
or living
james
consuming orgied
those who believe in the future
keep believing
not james nor dean
he didn’t believe in anything
what time is there for all that
if between comings there is only guille
of amarillitos
suprasegmentacionalidades
penepoéticas del poderío sublime de una fuerza
progenitora de imaginarios patriopotentes
linguilabiales del intersticio entre
doblegadas mimesisiantes
wannabieskas bichamamonas
del pasado atracado de tragalabiales
mamitas mediasebrias elevantes de espíritus
sabatinas y tenues
tiernuritas ricurías mantecadas a la la la
la la qué honda qué pasa quéslaque
las susususususanas
venidos vencidos segundos hermanos
bastardos bichilambones pendejos
usa la usa del uso más mongo/laid
escriturimemes facebabybookers
humanoidescalinas del half-way him
ambiguomonolinguísticas del never
nunca le des tu número uno y otro
día día uno dos tres dale que sigue
maigod interidiomas gastabotones
hasta en eso exceso de menoses
las heyes las wepas los vayas
los cabroooooooooooon/esos
son los días correctos dale que dale
es monday
llega una mediana y no está rara
ja. pero no ha. genérico. es decir común
es decir mano o mana
es decir man o maná
o confúndete o delete me o me jodes
o me dejas
así. como la media que soy y medio
como mediana y doce veces extrema
como medirse contra y con
travesía a través de la travesura
eso señorísimos damas es
el mamabichismo más bicho del chismitorio
del purodialecto mañana nana
donde fabrican nada más ni menos
que nuestro realísimo idioma
suprasegmentacionalidades
you are so much more than your translation.
she doesn’t understand why my home is not her sanatorio
why oh the ocean is beautiful oh el morro oh
YOU HAVE NOT READ ME IF YOU HAVE NEVER DIED & GONE TO PUERTO RICO
YOU HAVE NEVER READ ME IF YOU WERE WAITING FOR THE POEM TO COME OUT IN ENGLISH
you could of course not read me not soulform one dash—mid-me
THIS PLEASURE TINCTURE es aquello fresquería de sarduy prestada
MY SURVIVAL AS POEMS FOR YOUR CONSUMPTION
MY FLESHECHOED AGAIN FOR YOU TO QUIVER
if you have come this far you understand i’ve made holies of all things i love and in myself abundance of loss wellsupped into cavern(ícolas)ousness
you have understood what it is to make of loss
but not loss
what it is to drag my words rage swollen and tucked
many in the present shifts of memories crystalizing like sugary pop rings
you have understood what it is to be the bastard before there were family crests
but not loss
I CANNOT TRANSLATE FOR YOU ANYMORE
I’VE BURNT HOLES IN MY SHIRTS WITH CIGARETTES & FORGOTTEN
finding myself suddenly fingering my clothes
I’VE GOTTEN HALF HIGH & IMAGINED THE STATE KNEW
I’VE ORDERED THE WRONG MEMORY & crashed into my body
I’VE CRIED IN SPANISH [NO WORDS NO SOBS NO MERCY]
I CANNOT GO HOME
if you have come this far
para ser tuya donde sea
recuerda ERES MÁS QUE TODAS TUS TRADUCCIONES
••◉
i wrote huequitos/holies* before june 12, but after my friend IVÁN TRINIDAD COTTO was killed, his death never investigated. IVÁN and i would meet en el towncenter de mayagüez, where i’d invite him, MANUEL, HUMBERTO, GADDO, ANGELÍA, and whoever else was present, to have some coffee and we would talk about being gay as fuck, using protection, lana del rey, and going to nova ley. every time i talk to my friends, i feel this shared loss between us, sometimes spoken, sometimes unspoken, but always there. i’ve looked for ways to articulate it: i’ve written poems, i’ve talked it out, i’ve gotten pissed, but nothing seems sufficient and everything seems too much. these poems are a testament to this kind of irrecoverable loss because amidst all this mourning, we are also fucking and loving our holies.
what is the difference between cuir and queer? the difference is the difference between knowing and not knowing IVÁN. the difference is in how we touch, where we touch, and how much is seen. the difference lies in the internalized imperative to code my language, how closeted i feel or how unfreed by the imperialism of u.s. freedom. the difference is the water between san juan y orlando. the difference is crossing over because of a debt imposed by predatory investors, only to be met with the hatred of a country that never sees us except as an electoral statistic or a token latinx. the difference makes little holies in every poem. the difference lies in wanting to hold each other’s differences like the held space of rodin’s cathedral. huequitos i curl up inside. holies i want to suck and shiver.
i have translated these poems. i have not translated these poems. when you see me, you never see me. if i’m angry, i’m not asking for your understanding. i want you to experience discomfort, the acuteness of not having the solidity from which to say “i vote. i am a citizen. i am america.”
june 10: the u.s. geological survey announces that because of the debt crisis they will shut down 177 of the island’s hydrologic stations by july 1.
just boil the water
just boil the water clean
just gather the rainwater in buckets
june 12: 23 cuir boricuas are killed. killed with other queers, killed because they are boricuas and because they are cuir. the networks of hatred run so deep that the killers can’t see themselves killing us, and yet we are dying. i talk to r.a. on the phone and she says nos están exterminando/they are exterminating us.
will you care about us while we are alive?
july 1: the day these huequitos become public domain.
i want these holies to pierce a once continuous aluminum sheet. our huequitos can speak to each other the way echoes speak to a memory of voice. the way loss(i) speaks to loss(a). i don’t expect us to reach the same place at the same pace. even if i need you here right now, i will see you as you are, i will count your spoons, and wait. know that anger is my initial way of stumbling through the emptiness. reach for me. this is where i’m at. i’ll help you even when i can’t give words your way, but reach for me now. know my difference. see my nothingness not just yours, but ours, but mine. be cuir with me even when you are queer with me. learn to love what you cannot consume. decolonize to heal. write laterally. write down like offering a chair and sitting on the floor. turn with me in anger away from the investors, the cops, the imf, the candidates who don’t care about my people, the hrcs, the ultimate haters whose hatred is branded as love, and learn to tell the difference between our love and theirs. be queer with me. be cuir.
*the people in this study are activists, luchadorxs, poets, filmmakers, artists, and friends. the people in this study are people i love beyond repair. hold space for them as i hold space for you.**
**on june 29, the u.s. senate passed the PROMESA/PROMISE bill, which establishes that our eyes will be eaten by ravens while we sleep, our minimum wage will go down to $4.25 an hour, and we will be asked to remove our life jackets before exiting the plane. my always wise mother texted me the following message: the colony has come out of the closet.
huequitos/holies
raquel salas-rivera
espantapájaros azul blue scarecrow
ahogado en el bilis de la nochemasclara drowned in the bile of the clearestnight
siempre se desdibuja a los lados de los hombres always blurs at the sides of men
trae nuestros tragos la que tarda en mejorar su postura she who takes a while to better her posture brings our shots
su abuela le dijo que si camina en alto el camino es más corto her abuela told her that if she walks tall the path is shorter
por mi parte sobrecorrijo la entrada de sus labios for my part i overcorrect the entrance of her lips
desdiluvio las múltiples entradas i dedeluge the multiple entrances
su cara supercarretera entre galaxias her face superhighway between galaxies
entra por mi puerta diciendo como andas hoy enters through my door saying how are you today
pájaro azul blue bird
por lanochemasnuestra through the mostpossessednight
lanochemaestra the mistressmasternight
dile adiós querida al ala say goodbye querida to the wing
dile que es práctico el parecido say that it’s a practical resemblance
penetro
mi brazo es el órgano potente de mi feminidad
puedo llegar hasta mi hígado con mi brazo
cuando señalo [estando dentro de mí] puedo sangrarme
puedo crear un [crac] hueco en mi salud
por donde saldrán los líquidos fermentadores preñaran
el río con sus
ajustes hedoríficas suficiencias
agarrajuste dolimadura.
desgarraré tu sol de su segundo centro sombra(tierra) y cuando tanto polvoluz
se hará del mundo nos llevaré a tumba predilecta y
nos haré el amor tras meternos el dedo largo como un señalamiento común
(i) penetrate
my arm is the potent organ of my femininity
i can reach my liver with my arm
when i signal [being inside me] i can bleed me
i can create a whole [crack] in my health through
which the fermenting liquids will leave impregnating
the river with their
reeking suficiencies
griefripeish gripadjustment.
i’ll rend your sun from it’s second shadow(earth) and when so much dustlight
is made of the world i’ll take us to the favorite tomb and
make us love after sticking the long finger in our body like a common accusation
penetras (you) penetrate
se te para naturalmente la bemba con your bemba naturally sticks out with
ella mi magma me remetes tu lagarto es sudor estalactita her my magma tucks me in your lizard is stalactite sweat
cueva-parte en cueva encorvada cave-part in cave incurved
pico de cuervo tu toser como diciendo nunca más beak of crow your coughing like saying never again
pero al fin como no escupe sobre mi llórame but in the end why not spit over me cry me
quiero con tu melancolía estupenda i want with your stupendous melancholy
ser la favorita to be the favorite
quitapón
eres quitapón a veces te me masturbas como tapándote con la mano para
no regarte las plumillas y me vengo
a veces te vas volá por la vereda del baño y se te corren las cortinas
por los dedos porque te caes y no quieres
encima de mi s quitamientos
si pones una canción igual te quitas por
llamadas recibidas y yo sin recibir
decisiones te canto y tú. je. te pones pendeja
la cara de
poner huevos
o quitar cautelas
quítemela ahora y no te me pongas quitá
a cambio no me quito y te pondré
a girar como quitaponquitaponquitapon
offputtingon
you are offputtingon sometimes you masturbate like covering yourself
with the hand so as not to spray all your feathers and i come
sometimes you leave flown down the path of the bathroom and the curtains run
through your fingers because you fall and don’t want
on top of m(e/ y) offtakings
if you play a song you’ll also quit over
received calls and i’m without receiving
decisiones i sing and you. he. act basic
your face of
egglaying
or caution quitting
take it off me now and don’t offput
in exchange i won’t take off and i’ll make you
spin like offputtingonputtingoffputtingon
trampa de dedos finger trap
pero sin trampa but without trap
en el medio in the middle
del camino of the path
no pasan las gentes people can’t pass
ni nos movemos in the middle
en el medio of the middle
del medio another middle another another
hay otro medio otro otro there is trap
hay trampa without trap
sin trampa a mode of entering barely
modo de entrar apenas trililí pointillist
trililí puntillista of sinister dexterity/
de diestra siniestra all left and right
ay ay/is
entonces then
hay is/ay
en in
la the exit
salida
ñ
una caracola que te aprieta (vente adentro que hace frío)
partenogénesis guanabanada
en la sucísima entrada del hotel hay una alfombra vieja
que nadie poda
con mi mano la retoco y me saluda
¡vecina! somos parte de este organismo
de frisas sucias y videos porno
¿lloras cuando vuelas?
¿abres las ventanas en la lluvia o aprietas tus manos?
me vengo en un vaso
me lo bebo y alucino
se llama ser bruja
ah pero de eso no se hereda
claro que sí ven que te enseño eso me lo pasó la otra
(un secreto, una malicia, la aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa(y) escarlata
de adulterio)
vente afuera que hace fresco
ñ
a conch that squeezes you (come inside it(’s) cold)
guanabanaed parthenogenesis
in the dirtiest entrance of the hotel there is an old rug
that no one mows
with my hand i retouch it and it says hi
neighbor! we are part of this organism
of dirty sheets and porno videos
do you cry when you’re flying?
do you open the windows in the rain or shake your hands?
i come in a cup
i drink it and hallucinate
it’s called being bruja
ah but you can’t inherit that
of course i can come i’ll show you the other one passed that on
(a secret, a malice, the scarlet aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa(y)
of adultery)
come outside it(’s) fresh
los orgasmos se fabrican
igual que se alinean los lápices igual que uno da un toque
tap tap a los papeles
para que cuadren
uno ajusta una corbata
igual la realidad equivalente a sí
fabrica orgasmos
fui a una barra y una mujer me escalonó
no estaba pendiente pero sucede
que hay varias pieles y unas se le salen
hasta la superficie
cuando los extraños la suscitan a posesión
cuando succionan
el pliegue dentro del pliegue ni fuego ni humedad
hace un orgasmo como si el gigante del eclipse bostezara su sombra perentoria
orgasms are manufactured
just as the pencils get lined up just as one taps
tap tap the papers
to square them
one adjusts the tie
so reality equivalent to itself
manufactures orgasms
i went to a bar and a woman staggered me
i wasn’t aware but it happens
that there are various skins and some come up
to the surface
when strangers arouse her to possession
when they suction
the fold within the fold neither fire nor humidity
makes an orgasm as if the giant of the eclipse yawned his peremptory shadow
buchipluma
si te pones ancha es porque te elevas al suelo
tus plumas ahora gruesas como si las sudaras por el pecho
gritando como bronca tu machiplumeo
mastico velas y abanicos
las que me tiras desde el apretón (me siento pequeña entre tus
chalecos y corbatas me dan tus ganas ganas de nada
siempre nada pero nadísima contigo
en ti, buchipluma, vuelo tan bajo que me entierro)
mientras más te endureces más plumitas te salen
más te pareces a polaca
espeluznante espeluzá
cricalístico
caudal de la nada nuestro
tan buena tan bucha
tan dura
buchipluma
if you widen it’s because you elevate to the ground
your feathers now thick as if you sweated them through your chest
screaming like ruction your machiplumeo
i chew candles and fans
the ones you throw at me since the supersqueeze (i feel small amidst your
vests and ties your wantings give me want for nothing
always nothing i mean extranothing with you
in you, buchipluma, i fly so low i bury myself)
the more you harden the more feathers sprout
the more you seem like the polish hen
lurid unkempt
cricalistic
flow of our nothings
so good so butch
so hard
amarillitos
dicen que si no duermes deliras si no mueves herrumbras
pero de hojalata solamente hay sin quereres
esta es la ley de amarillitos
velocidad no es ni esto ni lo otro
crudo, médium raro, rarísmo
o vivo
james
consumiéndolo orgiado
los que creen en el futuro
siguen creyendo
no james ni dean
este no creía en na
qué tiempo hay pa eso
si entre venidas sólo hay guille
de amarillitos
amarillitos
they say if you don’t sleep you become delirious if you don’t move you rust
but of tin there are only my bads
that is the law of amarillitos
speed is neither this nor that
rare, medium rare, extra-rare
or living
james
consuming orgied
those who believe in the future
keep believing
not james nor dean
he didn’t believe in anything
what time is there for all that
if between comings there is only guille
of amarillitos
suprasegmentacionalidades
penepoéticas del poderío sublime de una fuerza
progenitora de imaginarios patriopotentes
linguilabiales del intersticio entre
doblegadas mimesisiantes
wannabieskas bichamamonas
del pasado atracado de tragalabiales
mamitas mediasebrias elevantes de espíritus
sabatinas y tenues
tiernuritas ricurías mantecadas a la la la
la la qué honda qué pasa quéslaque
las susususususanas
venidos vencidos segundos hermanos
bastardos bichilambones pendejos
usa la usa del uso más mongo/laid
escriturimemes facebabybookers
humanoidescalinas del half-way him
ambiguomonolinguísticas del never
nunca le des tu número uno y otro
día día uno dos tres dale que sigue
maigod interidiomas gastabotones
hasta en eso exceso de menoses
las heyes las wepas los vayas
los cabroooooooooooon/esos
son los días correctos dale que dale
es monday
llega una mediana y no está rara
ja. pero no ha. genérico. es decir común
es decir mano o mana
es decir man o maná
o confúndete o delete me o me jodes
o me dejas
así. como la media que soy y medio
como mediana y doce veces extrema
como medirse contra y con
travesía a través de la travesura
eso señorísimos damas es
el mamabichismo más bicho del chismitorio
del purodialecto mañana nana
donde fabrican nada más ni menos
que nuestro realísimo idioma
suprasegmentacionalidades
you are so much more than your translation.
she doesn’t understand why my home is not her sanatorio
why oh the ocean is beautiful oh el morro oh
YOU HAVE NOT READ ME IF YOU HAVE NEVER DIED & GONE TO PUERTO RICO
YOU HAVE NEVER READ ME IF YOU WERE WAITING FOR THE POEM TO COME OUT IN ENGLISH
you could of course not read me not soulform one dash—mid-me
THIS PLEASURE TINCTURE es aquello fresquería de sarduy prestada
MY SURVIVAL AS POEMS FOR YOUR CONSUMPTION
MY FLESHECHOED AGAIN FOR YOU TO QUIVER
if you have come this far you understand i’ve made holies of all things i love and in myself abundance of loss wellsupped into cavern(ícolas)ousness
you have understood what it is to make of loss
but not loss
what it is to drag my words rage swollen and tucked
many in the present shifts of memories crystalizing like sugary pop rings
you have understood what it is to be the bastard before there were family crests
but not loss
I CANNOT TRANSLATE FOR YOU ANYMORE
I’VE BURNT HOLES IN MY SHIRTS WITH CIGARETTES & FORGOTTEN
finding myself suddenly fingering my clothes
I’VE GOTTEN HALF HIGH & IMAGINED THE STATE KNEW
I’VE ORDERED THE WRONG MEMORY & crashed into my body
I’VE CRIED IN SPANISH [NO WORDS NO SOBS NO MERCY]
I CANNOT GO HOME
if you have come this far
para ser tuya donde sea
recuerda ERES MÁS QUE TODAS TUS TRADUCCIONES
••◉
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Raquel Salas-Rivera writes and publishes poetry. Her first book, Caneca de anhelos turbios, was published by Editora Educación Emergente. Her chapbook, oropel/tinsel , was published by Lark Books & Writing Studio. You can find out more about her work at www.raquelsalasrivera.co. |